I remember being out on a date a few years back. The dinner was flowing beautifully, the conversation was alive and well, and a time was being had. And then, somewhere between appetizers and entrées, she looked at me and asked:
“Do you ever get caught up in comparing yourself to other musicians and their success in comparison to yours?”
Without hesitation, I told her, “No. Because even if I admire what they do, I’m not created to create in the way they do. Similarly, nobody can be Aaron Abernathy and create the way I create.”
That wasn’t arrogance speaking… it was awareness. I was designed uniquely, crafted to walk the pathways of my life with what I was given. And what I was given is enough. The formula God wrote into me already contains every element I need to produce the success that belongs to me.
But that leads us to a deeper question: What is success to you?
Because once you define it for yourself, nobody else can tell you that you’re unsuccessful. That doesn’t mean your peers or the public won’t try… but their attempts only matter if you forget your situation. If you don’t know who you are. If you stop aligning your goals with the blueprint you’ve set for your life.
We live in an era where uniqueness and authenticity are quietly going extinct. Social media has given us unending access to curated realities, and if we’re not careful, we start to crave what someone else is showcasing. Their highlight reels become our lowlights. Their billboards distort our view of self.
I’ve watched friends and acquaintances slip into this trap… judging their worth by the homes, vacations, and opportunities others parade online. But those reels rarely tell the whole story. They’re advertisements, not realities. Personas, not always the true person.
This is why it’s not enough to simply know your uniqueness, you must embrace it, hold it close, and guard it like your life depends on it.
When I think of my situation… and what success means to me… it isn’t numbers, applause, or headlines. It’s making sure the roots of my family tree sink deeper while the branches keep reaching wider. It’s booking monthly flights home so my elders have what they need. It’s showing up for my nieces so they know their lives are covered from every angle.
Over the years, people have asked me, “What would your sister, brother, mother, father do without you?”
And my answer has always been the same: “We’ll never know… because they’re not without me.”
That’s my situation. That’s my success.
The truth is simple: We’re all responsible for ourselves, and owning your situation… as well as what you deem success to be, is yours alone to carry. Because the moment you surrender that responsibility to comparison, you’ve already forfeited the game.
Know your situation, protect it, and be sure to live it.
What if comparison is the quietest thief of your calling?
Every time you measure your worth by someone else’s story, you abandon the blueprint of your own. You stop building your house to fit your family and start chasing blueprints drawn for strangers.
So here’s the question that won’t let you off the hook:
Where in your life have you allowed comparison to redefine success for you? And are you willing, today, to reclaim your situation before it hardens into someone else’s version of a life you never wanted?