Sistas, Have you been loved well?
I’m learning that many of you have never experienced being loved well, respected well, or honored well by men in your lives. - Tami Haddon
Brothas, have you been loved well?
I’m learning that many of you have never experienced being loved well, respected well, or honored well by women in your lives.
Maybe this is why sisters feel like they need a man that’s six feet, earn six figures, and can fly them out. Maybe this is why sisters feel like they need the big house, and need a designer bag, and need the soft life…
Because they feel like they have to get something out of the deal if they’re not being loved well.
If “not being loved well,” is their history of dealing with men… from their platonic beginnings to their romantic tragic endings… their viewpoint has become that they have to get something out of the deal. This is why we’re continuously seeing this influx in materialistic needs replacing true love. When love isn’t taught, it can’t be found… and when it can’t be found, it’s replace with an idol.
Meanwhile, maybe that’s why brothers feel like if they are a high six figures earner, and they’re capable of flying a woman out, and provide them with the big house and the designer bag and the soft life… that doing all of this is loving a woman well. Maybe, that’s what society has taught them.
Meanwhile, maybe the the brothers who are working hard but weren’t called to earn six figures in income… yet are high earners in spiritual income, emotional income, and mental income… are feeling belittled because they are not in the overpraised small percent of men given that type of territory. Maybe, they’re losing hope in a dating climate where currency of character is a slow burn compared to the explosive thrill of love bombs that blow women away initially.
Meanwhile, maybe the sisters who are working hard on themselves, and are high earners in spiritual income, emotional income, mental income… are looking for men who are secure with themselves to partner with… but are struggling to locate them because these men are chasing after something they weren’t made to chase after to attempt to attract a woman that wasn’t designed for them.
And maybe… just maybe… all of our egos are in the way of the healing that needs to take place so that we can learn how to love well along with being loved well.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
- The Apostle Paul | 1 Corinthians 13:4–8a (ESV)
Meanwhile, we’re all responsible for ourselves… as well as curating the love that we want by healing and becoming what we were after.